![]() Do not confuse this film with the soon to be released Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter. What there is however, are a smattering of zombies and a vaguely realistic cast of American Civil War extras. So where does this leave Abraham Lincoln and his un-dead co-stars? Tricky, as there is a distinct lack of well-endowed pallid young ladies or 6 pack toting guys with intense stares. Strip out the excessive gore and replace with a ripped boy or 2 and the EMO girls will be in their element. Chuck in some semi-naked cute girls and lots of mindless violence and the market is clear spotty youths seeking some fantasy lust. Some gain cult status and not always because they are any good while quite whom some of the films are aimed at is sometimes a bit of a mystery. These films seem to fall into various categories – gore, sexual content, historical - even Film Noire. “I’m not your boy,” token black character Wilson Brown (Jason Hughley) sasses when someone good-naturedly calls him “m’boy”.Zombie movies are hardly a new genre with well over 500 produced to date, but the un-dead have seen a resurgence due at least in part to various First Person Shoot-em-ups and EMO culture. Anti-racist/anti-slavery (i.e., pro-yawn on both counts). Lincoln avuncularly passes the torch to future fellow office-abuser Teddy Roosevelt (Canon Kuipers), who gets to perch on the Great Emancipator’s shoulders to aim his rifle over a wall and pick off zombies.ġ. Mary Owens (Baby Norman) hints at the symbolic significance of the plague when, describing her own zombification experience, she says, “It’s like a fog is descending. “We are all Americans.” All of the biologically and morally unsalvageable corpses, however, must be exterminated.ģ. King in Django Unchained, playing the sacrificial honky. General Jackson redeems himself by joining forces with Lincoln and, like Dr. Old unprogressive fogey Stonewall Jackson (Don McGraw) objects to the presence of a “fallen woman”.Ĥ. A poor, oppressed prostitute excuses her whoredom by complaining that the oldest profession is the only work available to unmarried women in her area. “What would the cream of Washington society make of you, my dear?” John Wilkes Booth (Jason Vail) muses judgmentally, contemplating a whore as she sleeps.ĥ. It should also be noted, however, that the president’s superhero origin prologue depicts him executing his own zombified mother. “An appealing path, to be sure,” Lincoln concurs. “I’d rather start a family and ride horses,” Pat Garrett (yes, the Pat Garrett, played by Christopher Marrone) says when Lincoln suggets he enter politics or law enforcement. Ideological Content Analysis indicates that Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, a wholly superfluous, tedious, and forgettable offense on film.Ī star and a half. “The world will little note nor long remember what we say here,” Lincoln says as part of his Gettysburg Address – and no more fitting tribute could possibly be paid to Abraham Lincoln vs. As is, however, the film offers next to nothing to make it worth the viewer’s while. Zombies might at least have had the potential, like Nielsen’s Repossessed, to become in retrospect a cheesy and groan-inducing but ultimately pleasing artifact of lame comedy nostalgia. Had it been made in 1990, starred Leslie Nielsen, and laughed at itself with a go-for-broke gonzo parody approach, Abraham Lincoln vs. ![]() You know what must be done.” The titular zombies, laggards all, provide paltry suspense as America’s worst commander-in-chief (Bill Oberst Jr.) again rises to the superheroic occasion by shooting and slicing through the evil hordes with his trusty populist scythe – or is it a commie sickle? (Like a good Jacobin, Lincoln prefers to behead the unenlightened.) Zombies opts instead to play its material straight, offering only the driest and crumbliest crumbs of attempted humor and usually preferring to bore the viewer with Spielbergian solemnity and sentimentality: “Be brave, Abe. With a ridiculous rip-off premise begging for high camp comedy treatment, Abraham Lincoln vs. Stifling any potential from the beginning is the film’s confused sense of its own identity. Dimly lensed, indifferently scripted, and uninterestingly cast, this tale of a covert mission behind enemy lines to halt a Confederate zombie plague is itself no livelier than a lumbering, moaning member of the living dead. As little excuse as the execrable Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunterhad to exist, the coattail-clawing clunker cash-in Abraham Lincoln vs.
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